This just in on the
pResident Barack Obama has stated unequivocally, without hesitation, and in his most sternly worded teleprompter session yet, that the U.S. of A will attack those who seek to do us harm, NO MATTER WHERE THEY ARE!!!
Based on recent top secret information gleaned from waterboarding ruthless taxi drivers, we know that ISIS is in Juarez, and is planning festivities in or around Fort Bliss. Therefore, by logic, one can only assume that the Tequila Derby will soon cease to exist. There go my fondest college memories.
No more buying chicle at the bridge. Bummer.
